Have you ever been so angry and sad at the same time that your body physically ached? With an intensity unbearable, the emotions seem to take on tangible form and attempt to break out of your body right at the heart. Often when I am alone, I dance as a form of prayer to God. It is in these times that words do not suffice to describe or release the fierceness of what I am experiencing as music and movement can. I enjoy expressing pleasant emotions in dance as well. Joy for example cannot remain bottled up inside either. If only that were why I was dancing today. Today, I was trying to dance out my pain, it was lovely while it lasted but as my momentum wore off, my heart still ached, my head still hurt. Part of me wants to shut down completely and not deal with it all. The pain seems too heavy for my mind to bear. Crawling up in a ball and sleeping...and sleeping...and sleeping some more. Maybe when I awaken the hurt will have passed over like storm clouds that decide not to park over you. But, that isn't an option right now. Work needs to be done. I've got a goal and I cannot lose sight of it. God, help me through the pain. Help me to love those who cause me pain rather than harbor bitterness. Heal the brokeness.
